November 20, 2015
Tomorrows the big day, and, for many of us, that means a long overdue reunion with beloved family and digging into some of our favorite dishes – dishes worth the carb depletion youve been suffering through all week in preparation for the calorie explosion. For others, it means searching for more and better coping mechanisms to deal with what is bound to be a complete train wreck. And this year could be more highly charged than ever.You thought Uncle Franks IBS-induced farts at the table were polarizing? Wait until he gets started on how Donald Trumps immigration plan is going to make America great again. Before you let him know what a bigot you think he is, use a few of these techniques to keep the peace at Thanksgiving and get through the day without being excommunicated.
Get up and leave.
Theres nothing like a pro-con discussion of letting Syrian refugees into the country to get those juices flowing and not the good kind that keep the turkey moist. The easiest way to avoid getting pulled into an incendiary argument is to simply not be there.Before you succumb to calling Grandpa an ignorant old fool, excuse yourself to get more gravy/check on your sick cat/attend to explosive diarrheaanything to avoid what can only lead to raised voices and blood pressure this coming from someone who once shut down an Easter brunch at the house of [formerly] close friends after being baited into a heated abortion debate at the dinner table.Make a game of it.If you know someones going to drink too much and someones going to start a fight, have some fun with it by playing Thanksgiving Bingo. Pass cards out to the other fun members of your familyor play remotely with friends who need a break from their own Thanksgiving struggle. You can download four different versions of the card on BuzzFeed.
Maybe the person drinking too much should be you You probably dont need much of an excuse to get that going anyway, but in case you need a good reason, your blustery, hyper-millennial second cousin is about to give you one. If you plan your imbibing right, you may not care what anyone says. And if you overdue it and end up spending the rest of the evening sitting by the toilet, that may actually be preferable.
Agree and repeat
.”Conventional wisdom states that there are only two ways to get through Thanksgiving: with your politeness intact, or with your integrity intact. The third way is not to go to your family Thanksgiving at all. But theres another way,” said Alexandra Petri in the Washington Post.”I have found one foolproof strategy that will get you through Thanksgiving, Christmas, and beyond. It is simple: any time you are faced with a conversation-dominating person whose political opinions you do not share, you find the one thing you agree with in what the person has just said to you, and you keep repeating it until the interaction is over.”
Put something in your piehole.
Or your piecakehole, as it were. You cant talk if your mouth is full of piecaken, a hybrid of our two fave desserts.”Making your very own Piecaken is surprisingly simple,” said Distractify. “All it requires are a couple of cake pans… a couple of pies store bought ones work just fine and a whole buttload of frosting. In fact, heres a tutorial to get you started.
The singer has a way of bringing people together, as this Saturday Night Live skit so hilariously displayed. Queue up “Hello” before everyone sits down to the table so youll be ready to break into song at the first mention of “All lives matter”.
You cant respond to what you cant hear. Worried about being rude? Its probably less rude to be mute than it would be to express your true feelings about reproductive healthcare between bites of spiral ham.Earplugs Guide.
Use a similar tone.
“Another technique is to use the same tone they were using but say something totally different and hope that they do not notice the substitution. This works better with Cousin Sue, who spends her vacation time tending to sheep on a commune,” she said”. Cousin Sue: I think we should socialize America You: I love to socialize”
This will allow you to:Sit at the end of the table, where you can make a quick escape for “nose blowing” when neededEnsure that youre not sandwiched between people, where youll be emotionally and physically uncomfortable Allow you to leave – or at least excuse yourself to “go lie down” if things get really heated and your cousin from New Jersey looks like hes about to throw your Aunt Marys new husband out on his Ben Carson-loving butt Have another technique for surviving Thanksgiving? Wed love to hear about it.